Over the next seven months, join my partner Melissa and I as we attempt to plan our own wedding…
Let’s face it, the happily ever after fantasy has been pounded into most of our heads. You know exactly what I’m talking about- you grow up, go to a good college, meet the man of your dreams and he sweeps you off your feet. Next thing you know - you are having the fairytale wedding of your dreams with 300 of your closest family and friends and a spread in In Style Magazine.
When I came out to my family over ten years ago, I thought that little fantasy was a pipe dream. Women marrying women? Are you serious? The country couldn’t even keep Ellen DeGeneres on the air, yet they would be accepting of two women getting married?
Fast forward ten years to February, 2008. I organized a Chicago lesbian activity group to spend the day at Dave and Busters, and SHE walked in. Actually, I walked in, as I was late to my own event, but SHE was sitting there. This adorable woman with short brown hair, green eyes, and with a smile that melted my heart right away.
After a day of flirting shamelessly with her, Melissa couldn’t consider going out on a date with me. She had recently broken it off with her last girlfriend, and was in no way ready to jump into something else. That was until we had a five hour chat over Skype later that week. The evening ended with both of us acting like lovesick teenagers, throwing kisses and googly eyes into the webcam. Six months later and a notebook filled with all of the ways we were perfect for each other, we moved in. My immediate family saw a big change in me. I was happier with Melissa than they have ever seen me before with other relationships.
The elections were around the corner, and we became caught up in the excitement going across the country. November 4th came, and we celebrated with thousands of other Chicagoans in Grant Park. It was a wonderful evening, until heard what happened in California. Proposition 8, an initiative brought to the voters by Anti-Gay groups to repeal the new equal marriage law was passed. I remember crying my eyes out and wondering what was going to happen to all of my friends who were married during the past year. We watched along with the rest of the country for several nights, as thousands of people in the GLBTQ community and straight allies stormed the streets of California. I remember watching couples passionately tell the press why they should be afforded the same rights as their heterosexual counterparts and something lit up in me. I realized that this was exactly what I wanted with Melissa. She was it – the person that I wanted to spend the rest of my days with.
Coming Up: The Proposal
About the Authors/Queerlywed.com
Melissa is the co-founder of Queerly Wed, a new website dedicated to helping LGBTQ couples plan their big day. She is an activist within the LGBTQ Community and has volunteered her services at many grassroots organizations over the years. Melissa is also an avid cyclist and won two silver medals at Gay Games VII, which was held in Chicago in 2006. She is also a lifelong student and enjoys studying Latin-American culture, photography and languages.
Stacy Jill Jacobs
Stacy is the co-founder of Queerly Wed, a new website dedicated to helping LGBTQ couples plan their big day. Stacy is a writer, marketing nerd, and web geek grrl all wrapped up into one package. Stacy has worked in the interactive field for many years including roles at eToys (US & UK) and Ticketmaster. Stacy became a professional queer when in 2005, she served as the Ticketing Manager for Gay Games VII. You can catch Stacy on her website at www.stacyjilljacobs.com or on Twitter at @StacyJill