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Posts Tagged ‘Queer Weddings’

Anti-Brides, Two Brides are back with the grand finale of their wedding weekend in two parts. We were holding off on running the story for a few reasons:
1. I had two press trips this summer and things were crazy town, blog posts were more sporadic, “Follow Friday’s” non existent.
2. Two Brides represent a category on the app, and I wanted their wedding to be on “Wedding Wednesday” – the first full week the Anti-Bride iPhone App was out.

Our Two Brides, Stacy Jill and Melissa Calvert of Queerly Wed are back to discuss all things having to do with queer weddings across the country and in our legislature. At we’re all about cool trends, cute dresses and yummy food for W-day; but until everyone gets to celebrate their big day, their way (with the partner of their choosing), we’re going to keep same sex weddings front and center. Now without further ado….drum roll please: Two Brides Tie the Knot!

Melissa and her Mom

The Week Before


The week before the Big Day was crazy! Stacy was working (couldn’t get days off!!) and I was left with a lot to do on my own during the days. Luckily, my mom came on Thursday. She is our superstar! I had been having difficulty with my sewing machine (which was hers from the 60′s) and there were several projects left to be finished. She came in, immediately diagnosed the problem and proceeded to speed sew our DIY photobooth backdrops, two ring bearer pillows and our Chuppah within an hour. She also was generous enough to loan us her car for transporting all of our stuff downtown to the venue and hotel. We keep saying how awesome she is…and how lucky!

We arrived at the Ambassador East hotel on Friday afternoon, and I received a text from my cousin Whitney. “So, did you get them?” I had no idea what she was referring to until later that evening. Our wedding gift from her and that part of the family was a package of Sloppy Joe’s. This may not seem extraordinary, but the Sloppy Joe’s made by Town Hall Deli in South Orange, New Jersey is not your ordinary sandwich and holds a lot of child memories for our family. It was a perfect treat to help start the weekend.

Waba Chicago for Korean fusion food and fun..

That evening we gathered at WaBa my cousins’ restaurant, for our bachelorette party. Ben and Jamie provided us with a feast of Korean/American fusion, and Soju cocktails were flowing throughout the night.  My heart jumped in excitement every time a new group of friends and family walked through the door. What started out as a small gathering of family & friends turned into a party that my Nana Golda would have been proud of.

We finished eating and rolled into the big private karaoke room. Everyone was up for a laugh, and I even persuaded my mother to sing a song. She was adorable while singing Copacabana in front of everyone.

Stacys Mom belts out some show tunes...

It was there that our parents met for the first time. Things appeared to go very smoothly with that and slowly, more of our friends and family arrived to the restaurant. I was so touched at the love that was present in that room! We ate and then most of us stayed for karaoke and a great time was had by all!

Stay Tuned for Part 2: The Big Day!

About the Authors/

Melissa Calvert

Melissa is the co-founder of Queerly Wed, a new website dedicated to helping LGBTQ couples plan their big day. She is an activist within the LGBTQ Community and has volunteered her services at many grassroots organizations over the years. Melissa is also an avid cyclist and won two silver medals at Gay Games VII, which was held in Chicago in 2006. She is also a lifelong student and enjoys studying Latin-American culture, photography and languages.

Stacy Jill Calvert

Stacy is the co-founder of Queerly Wed, a new website dedicated to helping LGBTQ couples plan their big day.  Stacy is a writer, marketing nerd, and web geek grrl all wrapped up into one package.  Stacy has worked in the interactive field for many years including roles at eToys (US & UK) and Ticketmaster. Stacy became a professional queer when in 2005, she served as the Ticketing Manager for Gay Games VII. You can catch Stacy on her website at or on Twitter at @StacyJill


Stacey Jill's parents wedding, circa 1972.

Despite the fact that I have forgotten most of the Hebrew taught to me as a child, I still identify as a “Cultural Jew.”  These days, Melissa nor I are tied to one faith and at first thought many of the typical traditions would have to be thrown out the window. However, we decided that we should go ahead and pick the rituals that  we felt would signify our relationship with each other and our families.

The Chuppah
According to Wikipedia, the Jewish tradition of having a “Chuppah” symbolizes the home the couple will build together.  We are ignoring the part of the definition that says a man now takes control and demonstrates his ability to take care of his woman.  Instead, we are looking towards the story of Abraham and Sarah, who according to, always allowed guests to stay in their home. This act demonstrates the couple’s commitment to establish a home which will always be open to guests.

The Breaking of the Glass

This is said to have many different types of symbolism attached to it. One explanation of this custom seemed to speak to our social activist selves:  “ It is a reminder of the broken and fragmentary nature of reality, and hence a reminder to engage in spiritual repair of the world[45]” (excerpted from Wikipedia). I feel that this speaks to our passion for social activism. We found in the beginning of our relationship that both of us are very passionate about fighting for the good in the world.

The Unity Candle
This is meant to signify the joining of two families and seemed to fit us as this is very important to both of us. We are actually very lucky to have loving and supportive families who will be participating in the ceremony.

As an Anti-Bride, what traditions are you going to keep, create or leave at the altar?

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