Posts Tagged ‘Gay Weddings’

When a couple embarks upon the task of choosing a venue for their wedding and reception, how do they narrow down all the possibilities? There is the place you first met. There is the place you went on your 1^st anniversary. But then, there is that beautiful park down the street! There are tons of great places!

Stacy and I agonized about the decision for about 3 minutes. We immediately chose to have our wedding and reception at the place where we met. It would have great significance for us and be a lot of fun. With most couples, deciding the venue takes some debate, but we were in total agreement. We met with an event coordinator who went over the options. We saw the space and imagined the possibilities. We picked a menu—it’s going to be buffet style and they will cater! It being a popular video game arcade, everybody gets a game card! We signed on the dotted line.

In the first few months of planning, we already had our venue, caterer, photographer, musical entertainment (a.k.a. my iPod), wedding favors, accommodations for our guests, officiant and wedding party all set! We were feeling great! As time went on, I was thinking that I didn’t want our wedding to be cheesy.  I was struggling because I was beginning to feel that we could not avoid it if we had our wedding at the arcade. I kept quiet because I knew Stacy was sure.

December arrives and we have the opportunity to attend a holiday gathering at our beloved D&B’s. We attend and as we were leaving, we sneaked another peak at our ceremony/reception spaces. We saw that our ceremony space was draped in red. Our colors are lavender, ivory and mocha and we were quite alarmed when we saw that red as an irremovable part of the décor. And then we turned around and noticed that, while we do have the entire downstairs and the area will be roped off, it is not a private space. Oh well?

As we were driving home I decided to share my feelings that we should maybe look elsewhere for a venue.  To my relief, she agreed! We spent the next week viewing other spaces. I wrote an email to the event coordinator of the original venue. She wrote back that according to the contract, cancelation would mean we lose our security deposit –approximately $1500! As much as it pained us, we had to stay with our original venue. We are taking steps to ensure that the ceremony will be taken seriously and that the cheese factor stays low. It’s not such a bad deal.

Moral of the story: be very certain of your choice and voice your concerns with your partner BEFORE signing any contract!!

About the Authors/Queerlywed.com

Melissa Johns

Melissa is the co-founder of Queerly Wed, a new website dedicated to helping LGBTQ couples plan their big day. She is an activist within the LGBTQ Community and has volunteered her services at many grassroots organizations over the years. Melissa is also an avid cyclist and won two silver medals at Gay Games VII, which was held in Chicago in 2006. She is also a lifelong student and enjoys studying Latin-American culture, photography and languages.

Stacy Jill Jacobs

Stacy is the co-founder of Queerly Wed, a new website dedicated to helping LGBTQ couples plan their big day.  Stacy is a writer, marketing nerd, and web geek grrl all wrapped up into one package.  Stacy has worked in the interactive field for many years including roles at eToys (US & UK) and Ticketmaster. Stacy became a professional queer when in 2005, she served as the Ticketing Manager for Gay Games VII. You can catch Stacy on her website at www.stacyjilljacobs.com or on Twitter at @StacyJill

 

The “Social Butterfly” Wedding Party Dilemma

One of the most hair wringing, frustrating tasks for me while planning our wedding has been choosing my side of the bridal party. I have had a major dilemma trying to decide who would help me wipe my tears as Melissa says her vows.

As an over-achiever social butterfly, I have quite a few people who I consider to be my “chosen family.” These groups include friends from childhood, my amazing college friends, and my tight knit group of friends in California. How could I possibly not stress about it? My desire to include everyone has become a major sticking point. One thing that Melissa had to remind me of was that as brides on a tight budget, we realistically can’t invite everyone that we want – and the fact that we are able to at least invite those people to our wedding is special.  On that note, I am truly honored that these four people agreed to join my side of the bridal party:

My maid of honor, Kelly, has been one of my closest friends since we both dove out of our self-imposed closets and stormed West Hollywood together. Kelly and I were inseparable for years before I moved back to Chicago – roommates who relished our Sunday morning Baja Fresh brunches, weekend trips to San Francisco Pride, Dinah Shore(aka Lesbian Spring Break), and the fact that our incessant, ridiculous knowledge of all things pop culture, drove everyone around us absolutely batty.

Lori is one of my oldest and dearest friends. We met in college as two of the oddballs surrounded by preppy kids who were working towards a degree in Communications. She has been a lifeline since I moved back to Chicago ,and has always had the uncanny ability to keep our friendship going despite my years of distance.

Clare and I met ten years ago, when I was a smarty-pants 26 year old Internet producer who was sent over the pond to help launch a UK website.  I think we got off on the wrong foot, but then she took me under her wing and my time in England holds some of my fondest memories. We have stayed close and have collaborated on an online writing project called Thirty Voices a few years ago.

Shai is another member of my tight knit group of friends in California. I spent many historic San Francisco Pride weekends with him and even after thinking the grass was greener in the queer mecca, tried to move there in 2004. We now fondly refer to that time as my “6 week, $4,000 vacation.”

I had one more person I wanted to add, another close friend from college, but Melissa and I needed her in another role. We thought that someone who relishes in the power of the written word as much as Jenny does would honor us by performing the ceremony. Thankfully, she agreed!

In the end we both have four of our closest peeps (Melissa’s side includes her two oldest and dearest friends from high school, Amantha and Gudrin; her sister Stefani and brother Christopher) standing next to us along with the rest of our immediate family under the Chuppah.

Despite my initial dreams of having an insane amount of people in our wedding party, I realized that I needed to learn the value of compromise and be thoughtful towards my partner.  After all, I’m not the only VIB (very important bride) in this scenario!

About the Authors/Queerlywed.com

Melissa Johns

Melissa is the co-founder of Queerly Wed, a new website dedicated to helping LGBTQ couples plan their big day. She is an activist within the LGBTQ Community and has volunteered her services at many grassroots organizations over the years. Melissa is also an avid cyclist and won two silver medals at Gay Games VII, which was held in Chicago in 2006. She is also a lifelong student and enjoys studying Latin-American culture, photography and languages.

Stacy Jill Jacobs

Stacy is the co-founder of Queerly Wed, a new website dedicated to helping LGBTQ couples plan their big day.  Stacy is a writer, marketing nerd, and web geek grrl all wrapped up into one package.  Stacy has worked in the interactive field for many years including roles at eToys (US & UK) and Ticketmaster. Stacy became a professional queer when in 2005, she served as the Ticketing Manager for Gay Games VII. You can catch Stacy on her website at www.stacyjilljacobs.com or on Twitter at @StacyJill